22JAN09 UPDATE: Amiey made her very own conclusion on this post at her blog. You could read what happened here… and I totally agree with Fahriee on his stance on people condemning Rihanna’s concert in Malaysia.
DISCLAIMER: All photo’s in this post are just for illustrations. Hover over the photo for details. Sorry Justin for the misconception, I’ve caused.
I have always wondered what’s wrong with guys. Physically, we are the stronger sex, and are always referred to as the more dominant over women. Some say, we men are smarter than the opposite sex, while others claim other heroic attributes greater than women, such as the ability to run faster, the ability to handle pressure better etc. etc. Yup, its a very long list.
But I found a few flaws in men. One in most particular is ‘ATTITUDE‘.
I guess, its no secret in that I have a girlfriend. (Ahh.. another personal post again). Nikki even put me as ‘taken‘ in her blogroll… And some have read about it in my previous post, or some other blogs.
Well, having a girlfriend is a wonderful experience by any means. You have someone to share your joys and pain. You have someone to have dinner, lunch and maybe supper with. You have someone to enjoy doing stuff with, and I makes you feel awesome, and sometimes ‘over the world’.
With that said, you know that “HAPPINESS” is spelled in capital letters, and this means you tend to be very protective over your girlfriend. Very careful over what could harm what you have, and you’d try to ensure that you would enjoy these small but happy moments for a long period of time, if not forever.
Problem is, sometimes others create problems. I’m talking about other guys. I did write about something similar to this a few months back.
I have this rule which goes “If it’s someone’s else girl, you shouldn’t interfere and shouldn’t disturb or flirt with them“, and I think I have held that rule for as long as I can remember. I see this rule as one of those “MUST DO” rules, and I always hope people would do the same for me. Coincidentally, I found this rule to be adhering to the 9th and 10th Commandments in the Bible which is “You shall not covet(desire) your neighbor’s wife” and “You shall not covet(desire) anything that belongs to your neighbor“. For me, the rule I mentioned above is kind of like a ‘silent rule‘ most guys know off.
But sadly, some guys don’t adhere to this silent rule. They know that someone is ‘taken‘, but they still would like to give it a try. It seems they have no respect over others. They are self centered, and only think of themselves. Maybe they take it as a challenge, or maybe they figured they are better that the current guy she is with, or even better, maybe they think that the girl is a prize to be won. I do not know. But, actions like this makes me puke.
Even more disgusting is when these ‘unwanted‘ guys try to make physical contact by trying to hold your girlfriend’s hand (or other parts of the body), asking for kisses, trying to hug, making actions of wanting to hug/kiss etc. (you get my drift :D ) or even to the extend of talking ‘dirty’.
For me, being friends is okay. By any means, it is really okay. But expecting more, and doing such actions is really overboard, and it should be stopped. Sadly, when you try to be a gentleman, and talk to them nicely that you disapprove of these acts, they become defensive, and instead of admitting their mistakes, or apologizing, they say it’s alright to do such an act and they did nothing wrong. Some even say that they didn’t do a thing at all. It sometimes comes to the extend that they say “Even people’s wife can be taken, what more your girlfriend?“
Come on-lah.. there’s so many single, ‘un-taken’ girls out there waiting to get your attention, why should you pick on someone whom is already unavailable? If you are doing it for challenge, then take up paintball, football, basketball.. any ball…
I have come to understand that these guys might be desperate for attention. REALLY?? Maybe.. because they are such a jack ass that girls might feel turned off by their actions the minute they know them.
How the girls feel about such man? Ahh.. you girls tell me.
I only can say, I feel really disgusted with them, and it shows how little respect these guys have for other guys. Maybe they are just idiots, and have been sexually abused in the past. Maybe they feel that they should own all the girls in the world. Maybe they feel that touching and making sexual gestures would lead them to score with the girl. I really don’t know, but their actions would irritate any boyfriend. I bet my life on this.
p/s: I know there are also girls whom act like this, but I’m a guy.. I can’t say also …
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22 Comments on "Why Are Guys Jerks?"
Holy…… my photo is in there! Haha…. im so shock, i tot what happen lol. Hmm yeah some guys do wanna create trouble and take that as a challenge. Maybe one words to describe “UNMATURED”. I guess by the time they learn and find out that its their fault, its gonna be too late and things had gone much further than before….
[cdason]
Ahhh.. Sorry Justin for the misconception. I will highlight the word “for illustration”. Yeah.. agree that most of the times, these poeple don’t realize their mistakes till you start to act.
“I have this rule which goes “If it’s someone’s else girl, you shouldn’t interfere and shouldn’t disturb or flirt with them“, and I think I have held that rule for as long as I can remember.”
agree with you man. nice post!
[cdason]
Glad you liked it. Thanks
That is lame, these guys have confidence issues. Why? Because they feel “safer” hitting on taken women, to hide behind the women’s excuse of having a partner is the SOLE reason why they aren’t interested, when for a fact, that’s not the only reason.
Lame.
[cdason]
Glad you have the same stance man. You talk a lot on relationships, and having a stance similar to mine, means a lot. Uhhh.. Confidence issues eyh?? Hahaha.. yeah.. agreed!
Hey Dude…
A Firm writing about taking someone’s girlfriend. I like it dude. I think you write this because someone is trying to disturb her (u know who) hahaha
[cdason]
Hahaha.. you guessed it! Actually didn’t bother if it was normal flirting, but this guy went overboard. He managed to touch and caress her colleagues face without her colleagues consent, and made sexual gestures. I didn’t want them to think they could go on and touch anyone anyhow! So, I had to talk to someone… but the guy denied everything! Imagine that!
“..then take up paintball, football, basketball.. any ball…” I have an idea …
Sabar Cyril, some guys just are jerks. They dont get the drift no matter what. Some girls r like that too (from a 180 degree point of view). But to hear a guy say it like it is, is just refreshing. :-) We ladies thank you.
[cdason]
Ahh.. what’s your idea?? Ahahha.. Sabar la ni… If tak sabar, report management tau… ahaks!!
I have this rule.
“There are no rules.”
On a whole, it’s a kind of world where men and women come and go. There is nothing wrong with flirting with other people’s girlfriends or boyfriends. Although there is something wrong if those girlfriends and boyfriends respond back and take it to the next level. More likely than not, something was wrong with the relationship to begin with for something like that to happen.
It’s the security of a relationship and how much trust you have in your partner. It’s why I don’t mind other guys flirting with my girl and why she doesn’t mind me flirting around with other girls. We both know how far we’ll go and what we’re capable off. We trust each other to do the right thing.
Because at the end of the day, you’re not in control of your partner’s life. Regardless of whether you’re dating them or they are your spouse. That kind of control only serves to drive them away. It’s a lesson I’ve learned a long time ago and it’s one I’ve put to good use.
[cdason]
Good luck with your rule bro. Anyway, I’d just like to clarify that I’m still okay with socializing but not excessive flirting, and if they start to try to make unwanted touches and make sexual gestures (as I said in the post), it is too much. Anyway, if your gf/bf responds back to flirts by a third party, yeah.. that’s definitely something different and wrong.
i tot justin blacklisted by u.. =.=”
yaya.. unmature ppl
[cdason]
Ahahhaa.. another misconception. Nothing to do with Justin la.. hahhah
This is just BS. How is the guy flirting with a taken girl ever Insecure. If anything, he’s got BALLS. The size of bowling balls. Don’t believe me? Would you dare try it? No? Guessed so.
Instead, the insecure one here is YOU. Instead of getting your knickers in a twist about some guy going after your girl, you should get your act together and treat her better.
Maybe then you wouldn’t need to worry about losing her.
Everyone’s single until they are married, and you don’t have any right to get upset with someone flirting with your GF – only your GF has that right.
[cdason]
Running on a false name, and not willing to show your real name shows you have NO BALLS yourself :P You have your opinion, and I have mine, and my gf asked me to step in… plus, you don’t know the whole story.LOL… I actually smiled reading your comments.
I guess, you might be one of those whom agree that every girl is you to touch and disturb despite them being married or attached :) But thanks for visiting… and yeah.. I’ll wait for my gf to reads this post and see what she has to say… and since ur talking about balls, I guess they have such huge balls because they are GATAL.. hahahahahah.. Cheers!!
Hey man. Everyone faces things like this..and all I can say is, just stay strong. I’ve had people hit on my girlfriend like its nothing. Even my own friends have openly admitted that they would wait until we broke up.
Imagine how I felt. That coming from a friend and all. I got angry of course, but looking back, I don’t see the point in getting angry. Like Edrei said, it’s about trust.
Thank God, my relationship’s still going strong and I hope the same goes to you and Amiey. You two make for a sweet couple. :)
[cdason]
Staying strong.. CHECK!! Anyway, It’s not really about trust, but it’s about some people doing more than they should, and your friends saying that… WOW!!. I have no problem trusting Amiey, hence her freedom to go anywhere she wants, and I am not worried LOL!! Anyway, you can check out what Amiey said on this… and ahahha.. tahnks for the compliment :D
Oh, by the way, you’re invited to my housewarming party next month. Will let you know when its confirmed yea? :)
[cdason]
Sure man.. It would be my pleasure. Just let me know, or drop me a call/SMS/email.
Haha, such misunderstandings. Hey, your blog have readership so be careful of the pictures you use. LOL. Shouldn’t the “just for illustrations” disclaimer be on top of the post? I can’t imagine how the person feel to see his picture there, dah la dalam post that call men jerks some more. Hahahahaa!
Ok, to the post, I believe girls do it too. But it’s more likely not about insecurity because taking something that belongs to someone is usually about dominance. “I’m better than you” mentality. You can’t control how the other person react, but you can control how you react to it. You can’t control another person wanting to flirt with you, but you can always do/say things yourself to discourage it.
[cdason]
I’ve moved the disclaimer to the top :P And yeap. She tried to discourage it, but the guy didn’t get it.. and kept coming.
Edrei>>>
I would like to say this post actually not about trust or what…. It’s actually about guys which are jerk enough to flirt someone’s girlfriend… which should not be happened… try to put yourself in that someone shoe… how will you feel if your girlfriend being touched awkwardly by someone else which she just knew for about few minutes? Even I am not his wife, but I asked him to step in because I know enough I can’t do anything to stop them unless he step his foot in… and he was not trying to control me…
For me, if I don’t trust my partner, I won’t tell him about the guys which trying to flirt with me… I won’t ask him to settle this thing… but, because of the trust he gave to me… I told him everything… asked for his help in everything… being flirted by guys which I don’t even know of his background really annoyed me… he is so much disgusting which I decided with my bf to report this to his management…
Mehness>>>
I agree with Cyril… those who have those bowling balls must be so GATAL…. GATAL until they have to find and find and find and even take someone’s belongs to other… and again, I don’t think this post is about how Cyril treat me…
If you’re a boy, maybe you don’t really loves your gf, and that is why you agreed with those guys whom touches and disturbs girls in anyway they like… same too if you’re a girl… I won’t be shocked if you’ll loose whoever with you soon… well, you don’t really treat her/ him well…
He treat me well… very well enough till I found out that I won’t want to loose him as I feel very good enough with him… but the problems is, I was flirted and disturbed badly few days ago which I couldn’t stand the way they doing it… I asked Cyril to step in because I know I can’t express it towards them… and only Cyril’s GF has right? Well… that’s it… my right to let Cyril stepped into this problem… and my right to let him settle the problems with the guys… and even my right to let Cyril do whatever he could to stop the guys from disturbing me…
Cdason>>>
This one is for you….
Nice post!!!
:D
[cdason]
Thanks sayang :P
So u have a rough start to the new year too?
[cdason]
Yeah.. kind of.. ups and downs.. you having something similar??
I guess everyone is happing a bad start to 2009. :p
[cdason]
Maybe so.. hopefully after CNY, it will improve.
*ops, “having” instead of “happing”.
See? Didn’t i tell you a bad start? :p
[cdason]
Hahaha.. yeah.. U see what you mean.
Yeap, you can say that. The flood kepts filirting with Sri Aman whenever we decide to call it a clear day
[cdason]
Yeah.. Its also flooding almost everywhere now..
I guess this doesn’t only apply to guys but I do see some girls doing that too.
[cdason]
Yeah…. likewise, its not a good thing to have going on.
take it easy bro. gine2 org kaco, but if you two remain faithful and serious each other, trust me that you’ll get it over soon. kawin cepat2 :p
[cdason]
Memang relax… just sometimes, these type of peple don’t know when to stop.
oooh, i feel a long comment coming out..sorry in advance.
regarding men who flirt with other people’s girlfriends even when they are aware that they are already taken is a normal “phenomenon” among men. Everyone has insecurities, some act in a way that would get them notice, perhaps even loved and adored by others, some hide it well, some have act out in anger, all in all, everyone has that inside nagging feeling, so to speak.
with that said, guys who attempt to grab someone’s gf/bf from under their noses have a tendency to have very high insecurities(this of course is not the root of it all, but that’s for another discussion on another place and time).
they take it as a competetion so to speak, male bravado and testerone filled machismo against another men.
it’s the same reason why bullies become bullies and the reason why bullies bully. It starts at home.
did you know that bullies are bullies because they were bullied? sorry if it sounds like a tongue twister..lol
so same goes for the “wolves” and “vultures” you just described, they don’t get enough love/ignored from their own parents/ ( i think some parents shouldn’t be parents btw, and i think permits should be given for would-be couples,yes another discussion).
in the long run, everyone is looking for “the love” and personally i believe God is the answer for that one but i’m not here to spread my doctrine or creed.
I think our partners as long as not married, is fair game to anyone but as far as touching inappropriate places, well that’s called sexual abuse and should be prevented.
i’m like you, i don’t hit on other people’s GFs.
i don’t like it, plus i had personal experiences in being the victim, so to speak and i believe if the person is so willing to jump ship just like that speaks of her loyalty to you in the first place.
I think it’s right to step in when a guy like that goes too far, it’s called abuse…
you’re lucky you’re not like me…well the old me…not sure now..but back when i was a bit more angry, i would have sock it to him and kick him in his watermelon balls so hard, you would have sworn you saw him puking out watermelon seeds from his mouth…but that i leave to another day.
cheers brah..
from the mind of
STEREOMANIC.
[cdason]
Comments, no matter how long, is always welcomed bro. No need to apologize. Anyway, I agree with you 101%.. and I love this quote you did: “but back when i was a bit more angry, i would have sock it to him and kick him in his watermelon balls so hard, you would have sworn you saw him puking out watermelon seeds from his mouth..”.. heheheh.. hahahahhahhahahah.. LOVE THE IMPRESSION>
hahaha my photo also illustrated hahaha
[cdason]
Got no other photo la bro.. so re-use yours.. btw.. BILA GIK MOK AMIK GAMBAR?
Interesting post and I hold onto the same rules too! Cheers! ;)
[cdason]
Good for you :D
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